Oolite Bulletins

I'd been considering that tactic to use at some point.

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Pilot: Mossfoot - Ship ID: Viaticus Rex (Cobra MKII)
Rank: Competent - Status: Clean
http://www.noahchinnbooks.com/

Not one of mine, but a rather hilarious video featuring the engagement of torus drive followed by "It looks like that's an asteroid field I'm going to fly through...

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Commander Ranthe: Flying the Anaconda-class transport Atomic Annie through Galaxy 2.
Combat Ranking: Dangerous

3 pirates tried to jump me as I came out of witchspace in some forgotten Anarchy. I took two of them down with the rear laser as I strung them out then turned and mullered the third head-to-head. Punching the air with the adrenaline rush post combat when I suddenly realised a fraction too late that those 4 cargo pods were blue, and spiralling in on me.

Press Space commander.

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Great, kid. Don't get cocky. - Han Solo

Hehehe..

4 missiles at once? You don't have Nexus Missiles installed, by any chance?

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Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied

Today my alternate Commander, "Slippy" Jim Inskipp, learned an important lesson: Serpent-class cruisers are.... shall we say, "not physically compatible" with Astro Mine docking facilities, no matter how well-aligned the approach.

"Press Space, Commander."

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Commander Ranthe: Flying the Anaconda-class transport Atomic Annie through Galaxy 2.
Combat Ranking: Dangerous

From the Serpent Class Cruiser specs: Without being able to (easily) get precise data on an Astromine docking port, my guess is you're trying to fit a 63m high ship into a 64m high port. That would certainly require a delicate touch on the controls..

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Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied

Timing is everything... Here's the proof... The other night I locked on to the docking buoy of a spacestation and thinking that I had plenty of time before I got close to it, I wandered off to the kitchen to put the kettle on. On the way back to my PC's desk I heard a massive crashing noise and returned to the familiar "Press Space Commander" message. Who would have thought that a little buoy could do so much damage to a Cobby?

It's actually much bigger than a Cobby

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Commander Smivs, the friendliest Gourd this side of Riedquat.

If it's any consolation, your Cobby most likely also destroyed the buoy..

Hence the GRS BuoyRepair OXP, for all those times clumsy NPCs manage to take NavBuoys out..

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Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied

A Gamut of Emoti(c)ons

…I’ll buy a towbar. Reckon I’ll make a bit‘v cash carting trash around the system…

…”Yeah, run away, that’ll teach you to pick on yer betters ”. Great, I get to try out the towbar. Cobra’s bound to be worth a bit back at the station Slide up nice and easy – auto connect, great – off we go at a nice steady pace, should only take a half-hour or so Hey! What’s that stuff breaking off my bit of salvage – oh damn, I can’t really stop to pick it up; manoeuvring with this great thing behind me is a bit crap Maybe I’ll just ease up a bit on the gas pedal and stuff won’t keep breaking off, perhaps I’ll be back before the Honest Jo’s Seconds shuts for the offcycle…

…”Oh hi guys, just doing my civic duty and dragging some junk back… What th’…! Hey guys, hang on a minute, I’ve got nothing but this piece of junk I’m towing!” Sh!t, I’d better get out of here fast, [engage injectors]. What the f*#&! Injectors offline ! F*#&! F*#&! Sh!t and F*#&! How do I disengage this thing ! Where’s the f*#&in’ manual! “Guys, please, I surrender ! I haven’t even heard of the Grammatian, Split f*#&in’ Infinitive Curse Eradication f*#&in’ Initiative, whatever it is ” Oh why didn’t I read the bl**dy manual “No, no, please don’t sh…”

Press Space Commander

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SteveKing
(not quite the author)

Good one Steve...lol RTFM...

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Arthur: OK. Leave this to me. I'm British. I know how to queue.
OR i could go with
Arthur Dent: I always said there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe.
or simply
42

Seconded!

Thanks, Steve.. I got some good laughs out of that!

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Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied

I just delivered an important parcel, and am on my way back to Quandixe. After jumping to a nearby system, I decide to start cruising to the main station to buy some cheap food. About halfway their I notice some pirates approaching me. No sweat, I can easily take them out, I think. They start firing at me, so I line up my sights and let 'er rip... not. What the *beep* is going on!!!! Why aren't my *beep* lasers working!!!! I check to see if my weapons systems are online, look back at the screen, only to be greeted with...

... Press Space Commander

I look down at my keyboard, and realize I've been pressing the wrong button the whole time.

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"My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so that people don't think I'm dead." -Anonymous

Heh.. nice little tale.. and one more reason I love my joystick.. it's kinda hard to pull the wrong trigger..

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Most games have some sort of paddling-pool-and-water-wings beginning to ease you in: Oolite takes the rather more Darwinian approach of heaving you straight into the ocean, often with a brick or two in your pockets for luck. ~ Disembodied

So one day I jumped into a system with my shiny just maintaneced cobra Mk III. Flew into a massive pack of pirates. Ike I thing it was 20+...
Now in the system before I turned off my weapons when docking because I had a little 'incident' the time before...
(Back to the pirates)
I thought that this would be the perfect time to use an energy bomb. So I did.
Didn't work.
Tab.
Didn't work.
Woop woop woop.
Uh oh...
Tab.
Tab.
Tab!
TAB!
(Explosion)
"Press Space Commander"

I went back to the save point and looked around my HUD.
'Weapon Systems offline'?
'Weapon Systems OFFLINE'!

*sigh*

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Now with 100% less Wonderworm!